I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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