I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
