I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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