there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
