Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
