I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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