why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
