Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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