those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
