At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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