This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
