The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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