Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
