i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
