i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
