Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
