Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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