I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
