Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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