I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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