he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
