That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
