clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
