if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
