You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
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He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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