Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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