Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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