i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
