I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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