Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
