just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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