There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
