So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
