butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish i was in the wii world.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
