I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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