i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
