Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
