Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
