You really coming over, don't trick.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
