she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
