he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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