My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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