I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize