Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
