Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
