As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
