Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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