Fuck appropriateness.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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