yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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