Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
