I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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