Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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