I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
this will be a night to untag.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
