he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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