he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
